“I’m happy where we are as a team. Sucks it was 4-1.” –John Tortorella, postgame, game 2.
You know how Rocky 2 begins like literally right as Rocky 1 ends, with Apollo Creed and Rocky going to the hospital in ambulances, bludgeoned half to death from the fight at the end of the first movie? First, Rocky isn’t real, and I think that’s a point our Flyers fan friends should try to understand, and second, that’s kind of where we’re picking up, right where the last game left off.
The ever-cocky Tortorella enjoyed where they were as a team. Zero wins, and two goals to show for two games. Jack Johnson must have shown Torts the secret to happiness when you have nothing—or, in the Jackets’ case, no more playoff wins since April 23, 2014. The Pens kicked them out of the playoffs two games later. Here we are again.
A lot of stuff happened in Game 2. Sidney Crosby and his line played ridiculously well. Evgeni Malkin was a beast.
And Jack Calvert attempted assassination twice on Tom Kuhnhackl, but it remains to be seen at the time of writing whether Calvert will get discipline of 69 games, 69 minutes, or a $69.99 fine for his hit, or nothing because the league is run by Neaderthals who get chubs over clubbings. Probably that last thing.
Penalties continue to not be called on actual plays that deserve to be penalized, but they called some pretty soft crap late in the game.
Marc-Andre Fleury is playing like a goaltender who knows that the games he’s playing now are the last with the club he’s spent fourteen years with. Respect. Brandon Dubinsky, on the flip side, is playing like a moody little girl who isn’t getting her way. Typical.
Also, the Columbus Dispatch planned to run a cut-out mask of Sidney Crosby crying as part of Sunday’s “festivities.” Jackets fans welcomed the idea, as Sunday figures to be warm in Ohio’s capital, and the mask did not cover the entire head like their typical brown paper bag does. Too bad the plans were cancelled, because Jack Johnson was set to collect the scraps of the cut-out to line his cardboard box for warmth.
In short, the Columbus Dispatch had this brilliant plan to dispatch Crosby masks but Crosby is halfway done dispatching the Columbus Blue Jackets from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, so the Columbus Dispatch dispatched their mask idea.
*Obviously no Matt Calvert today for CBJ*
*Scouting the Refs sucks so the stripes aren't up yet. We probably won't update you when they become available*
Tortorella is trying to keep cool but obviously #MadOnline
Matt Calvert is out a game for auditioning to work for United Airlines.
Jesus died for your sins. Tom Kuhnhackl almost died for your entertainment.
Old Posts from our site, heyyyyyfannnssss (4/11-2/15). Cute name, but impossible to remember.