Like all things in life, everything has an expiration date, and well... the Columbus Blue Jackets are no different. Sure they're a hockey team, but eventually you get tossed into a garbage truck for people like Rick Nash to feed upon.
On 4/20, the Jackets were officially eliminated from the 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs, which means none of this will happen:
As you can see, these tweets are from their 16 game win streak, and during that time, their idiot fan base began to plan the parade. Well Columbus Blue Jacket fans you know what happens when you get too far ahead of yourself and start planning a Stanley Cup Parade? *Does best Chris Jericho impersonation* YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!
Over the next bit, we here at Pens Of Anarchy will give our final condolences to the Blue Jackets.
Your team was never going to win the Stanley Cup. You have a goaltender in Sergei Bobrovsky who flops harder than Nick Foligno in Game Four of the playoffs. I guess it runs in the family, #Marcus. Too bad he got hurt and sat out Game Five.
To Scott Hartnell,
Did you even play? Because if you did, then you were invisible like Jacket fans before this past season. <----Those fans are still invisible.
To Zach Werenski,
Finally to the #FifthLine,
How about that parade? Man what a moment! I-70 never looked better with all those scumbags parading down the interstate of losers.
"I hope that bitch infront of us drops over."
"When a Blue Jackets fan tweets #5L, they're just telling everyone how many L's they should've had in this series."
"Jack Johnson is so poor, he has no way to read what I'm writing about him."
"Hey atleast CBJ got one more win than the Blackhawks. Bye!"
3. The number of sides/points on a triangle.
3. The number of goals the Chicago Blackhawks scored in their entire series against the Predators.
3. The number of wins the Warriors and Indians had before blowing leads in their respective championship series'.
3. The number of goals the Pens scores in a row during game 4 when you assholes had a 3-1 lead. 3. Olli Mattaa's number.
3. The number of goals Jake Guentzel scored by himself in game 4.
And finally 3. The number of playoff wins you mouth breathers have all time. Congrats on finally winning one in regulation. Enjoy the golf courses you scumbags. Hopefully Matt Calvart doesn't try breaking his clubs over someone's face.
RIP 2016-17 Columbus Blue Jackets
Old Posts from our site, heyyyyyfannnssss (4/11-2/15). Cute name, but impossible to remember.