Have you ever heard of five finger filet? That game where you put your hand down on a table, spread out your fingers, and try to stab a knife in the space between your fingers as quickly as possible? That’s something I’d rather do than watch this game tonight. But, because I’m a psychopath and a glutton for punishment, I’m going to tune in anyways.
Casey DeSmith gets the nod in goal again tonight after allowing just four goals against the Chicago Blackhawks on Wednesday night. Matt Murray will continue to ride the pine tonight for #reasons. I guess it makes sense, because the Kings are bad, and you don’t want to play Murray two nights in a row, so you’d rather save him for tomorrow night so he can allow five goals to the Kings instead of eight to the Bruins.
I’m rusty at this whole gameday thing, and the rest of the POA crew puts me to shame, even if I am a writer for a living — this team just gives me zero will to watch them or even be optimistic.
Here’s a shot of Mike Sullivan in his office:
I’m all aboard the #FireEveryoneTradeEveryone train. Let’s get this over with.
Never forget when the Bruins traded a third-round pick for Zac Rinaldo. People don’t talk about that.
Lowkey, the Bruins are one of my most hated teams. They’re all scumbags. Especially Zdeno Chara (aside from that time he nearly decapitated Max Pacioretty).
I’m 4-foot-12 and am still taller than that midget rat bastard Brad Marchand. It’s not midget shaming if I’m a midget, by the way.
I wonder if Marchand shares the same stance as Jamie Benn in regard to going down on females (or males if he’s into that kind of thing — it’s 2018 and I think everyone should love who they want to love). Marchand’s nose is so large, I don’t think he could ever get his mouth close enough to bunch mox.
All of Marchand’s T-shirts have stretch marks on the collar from pulling them down over his schnoz.
The only good thing about Boston is the Red Sox. They won the World Series last month, by the way. People don’t talk about that.
Rene Rancourt is a terrible national anthem singer. Worse than that scrub from the Blackhawks game on Wednesday.
Jack Edwards is even worse than both of those two. And Mike Sullivan. And Joe Haggerty.
Never forget when the Bruins blew a 3-0 lead in Game 7 in a series in which they blew a 3-0 series lead.
Also never forget when Matt Cooke killed Marc Savard.
Old Posts from our site, heyyyyyfannnssss (4/11-2/15). Cute name, but impossible to remember.