For the 13th season in a row, your Pittsburgh Penguins are in the postseason and just like the previous 13 years, I am nervous. The Penguins are about to embark on a journey as they try to win their third Stanley Cup in just four years. For what it's worth, this is only the 3rd time during their 13 year postseason run that the Penguins are opening the playoffs on the road. Prepare to be mad as hell at all of the "Let's Go Islanders" and "Yes!" chants that these scumbags are gonna yell. I for one am already mad.
The Islanders somehow ended up with 102 points and finished second in the Metrosexual Division even after John Tavares peacefully left the organization to go play somewhere better (because who the fuck wants to play on Long Island). The Isles have made the playoffs twice this decade (it might be more but I honestly couldn't really give a shit to look it up). If you recall, they lost to the Penguins in 2013 and also lost to someone after they cheated the Panthers out of a series a couple of years later. Cal Clutterbuck is a scumbag and I give it five minutes until he pisses me and everyone else off. Matt Murray will go in net unless he dies in the pre-game skate. Speaking of which, the Penguins did recall Tristan Jarry yesterday to give them a third goaltender on their playoff roster. Wilkes-Barre sucks and will likely miss the playoffs so Jarry was going to be up here sometime soon anyway.
For once, Pittsburgh enters a series surprisingly healthy and not that HCMS is going to give any indication on anyone's playing status this time of year but it appears as if Brian Dumoulin and Zach Aston-Reese are good to go. They are both listed as game-time decisions (as always) and I have no clue who will sit if they both play. As for the Islanders, I have no clue who is even on their team. I assume Robin Lehner will go but that probably isn't set in stone. Former "friend" Thomas Greiss is the backup and hopefully he starts a game in Pittsburgh so he can actually hear the crowd. Honestly, the Islanders are scumbags and I hate all of them. Also, fuck Frankie Borelli who is a scumbag Islanders fan from scumbag Barstool Sports. Hopefully the Penguins poop on them and he cries on the internet.
Robin Lehner did not skate this morning but expect him to start in net tonight for the Isles.
Matt Murray will start for the Penguins
I'm not ready to live and die on every shift
The Coliseum sucks
At least the scoreboard is centered there?
Barry Trotz sucks
The Islanders can't grow a playoff beard because Lou Lamoriello is a dinosaur
The Pirates game won't be on TV tonight so you should laugh at that
Casey Cizikas is a dick
Tom Kuhnhackl is probably gonna score some big time goal.
This is the first time in 31 years the Islanders have had home ice in the playoffs
Robin Lehner is not good
Anders Lee is a 9/11 Truther
Devon Toews sucks at leadership.
I'm fired up
If you're not any of these, go watch the Pirates game (OH WAIT)